Quick Update!

So I went back in to the doctor this morning and had more bloodwork and another ultrasound. I just got the call from the doc and I am to do one more dose of Follistim tonight and then trigger tommorrow. I have to take the Ovidrel shot between 7-9 in the morning and then I will ovulate around 36 hours later. Please pray for this lonely egg!

Apparently One is All it Takes

So just a quick update. I went in to the doc on Friday for Bloodwork and Ultrasound. I only had one lonely follicle that was dominant and growing with several smaller ones. It was 10.8mm. I was a little bummed but I knew the rest still had a little time to catch up. I went in this morning and I was wrong. Still just the one follicle now at 15.5. I was upset because we are paying lots of money and putting ourselves through alot just to be "normal"? What? I had one follicle the first time we did injections and did not get pregnant. A "normal" couple with no problems releases one egg every month with the exception of twins, and there is only a 25% chance of conception each month. With this much money I want a higher percentage! Anyway the cycle I became pregnant, I had 4 mature follicles. That made me feel alot better even though there was a higher chance for multiples. But as everyone so graciously keeps telling me "It only takes one" so I am not counting this cycle out yet. A little bummed? Yes! Giving up? No! Praying Fervently? Absolutely!!

I will say this. Statistics show that pregnancy occurs most often in the second consecutive Follistim cycle which is what happened the first time. So I will stay optimistic about that. But still how much waiting and needlesticks and bloodwork/ultrasounds can one girl take? My husband of course is wonderful through it all!! He even came home for an hour today to be with me since I was so bummed out! He is amazing and I don't know what I would do without his unconditional love and support. He has really been through it with all of my glorious hormonal mood swings. Poor thing. He really deserves a child! I hope I can give him one here on earth soon!

I go back to the doctor in the morning for another ultrasound and bloodwork. They seem to think I may be ready to trigger tommorrow or Wednesday. Then I will ovulate 36 hours from then. Please pray that sweet little egg will get fertilized this time! Hope everyone has a great week!!

Extremely Proud Wife!!

Last Night at Wednesday Bible Class my wonderful Husband Daniel got up and did the Invitation. For those who don't know this is a short sermon given after Bible Class. I was SO Proud! This was the first time he had spoke since we were about 15 or 16. He did a GREAT job if I must say so myself. :) He is a natural born speaker and he really needs to do it more often. Hopefully now that he sees that he can, he will. Its a great feeling to sit in the audience and watch your husband do such a great job bringing God's word to others. Did I mention I was proud? ;)

On a different note, the injections have been going well. Having a few side effects that I had forgotten would happen but overall things are good. For one thing after Daniel gives me the shot, my stomach is so bloated that I couldnt push it out any if I tried. It stays that way til morning. Plus since my doses are higher this go around my stomach has started to bruise quicker. That part I could do without but it is so worth it. I will go in tommorrow morning at 8:45 for more bloodwork and Ultrasound to see how my follicles are progressing. From there this will tell if they need to up my dosage or back off. Plus I will have to order more medication because I will be out by Saturday.

I told Daniel that this cycle should be interesting for the people who are not keeping up with things because EVERYONE is watching for when I get pregnant again. So now, being bloated, I'm sure people will start to question since to most people any slight increase in abdominal size MUST mean pregnancy. And so many people are willing to just come out and ask you this. Very Frustrating. Makes you just want to make a LOUD general announcement "No I'm not pregnant!!! Just Bloated People!!!" ;) Seriously though my stomach after a shot can grow around 2 to 3 inches....its horrible!

Praise God!

So I know I said that I would post photos of the Anniversary Party today but that will have to be tommorrow because I have a much better subject to talk about today. Thanks to all the prayers we got one of our answers today. I went in for my bloodwork and Ultrasound this morning that would tell us whether we would be able to start trying again this cycle or not and I just got the call from my doc! WE CAN!!! I start my injections tonight. I take the same dose for three nights and then I go back on Friday for more bloodwork and Ultrasounds. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. We need for at least 1 (preferably more) follicle to achieve the size of 20mm. I will be monitored until that happens. Once it reaches 20mm I will be given a different shot called Ovidrel which will make those follicles release their eggs. I am starting out on a higher dose of Follistim than I did last cycle so hopefully we will progress more quickly. Thank everyone so much for all of your prayers. God is so good and he sure does answer prayers!! Here is a photo of my medications I have to take. Just to give you some ideas.

This is my Follistim Pen, Needles, Follistim Cartridge, Alcohol Swabs, and Sharps container.

Super Busy Weekend!

This was a super busy weekend for me. I threw my parents a 25th Wedding Anniversary Party yesterday and I spent all weekend getting ready for it. It went really well and everyone had a great time but it was super exhausting. It was a long day because I wasnt feeling well and I was on my feet all day but we made it through and everything went well. It's not very often that people make it that long in marriage and it was quite and accomplishment. It was so wonderful seeing them still so in love with each other and God. I will post pictures in a post tommorrow. I don't have time now. I was a little upset that out of all the pictures we forgot to get any with us and them together. I really hated that. I was such a busy body doing other things that I just forgot to tell anyone to take them. My fault!

I did however get to take time away from preparing on Friday night. Daniel took me on a date to our Favorite restaurant Charles Anthony's. I had a Ribeye and it was amazing. I am so in love with steak. We went shopping for a little while after and then came home and spent a quiet evening together. We had fun and it was nice to go out together since we are hopefully about to start our journey to try and concieve again shortly. I have an appointment at 8:45 in the morning and will know by tommorrow afternoon if we will be beginning our injections tommorrow night or if we have to wait another month. Hopefully we will start tommorrow. I have my medications ready (all $750.00 worth) that will be enough for at least 4-5 days. So please everyone keep us in your prayers and pray that we are able to start tommorrow and that we will be pregnant in a few weeks.

Special Song

I came across this song about a year ago. It is a great song when you are going through infertility and I listen to it often..... crying my eyes out each and every time! I wanted to share it for those of you going through this and haven't heard it yet. The lady who wrote it wrote about her own experience so that makes it even more special. Everyone should watch it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqfGqOx2iDQ

Great Weekend Full of Encouragement

I had a very uplifting weekend. I needed this weekend. With our Trying to Conceive process getting closer and closer to starting up again, this weekend was much needed.

Saturday morning was our annual Ladies Day at Grandview Pines. I always look forward to these because we always have such great speakers who have a way with words. This year we had an especially great Speaker. Sister Colley had to be my favorite speaker yet. Our theme was "Preserving Yesterday's Memories". She basically talked about the "Good Ole Days" when God was allowed in schools, when you didn't have to worry about being robbed or mugged, and when pretty much everyone worshiped God. We talked about how we need to stop considering that the "Good Ole Days" and make it the "NOW". She had alot of wonderful points that I won't go into now but her lesson really made me think about some things. The number one thing being how I raise my children. It made me question alot of the ways I always thought I would do things. I will write a blog soon dedicated to just this! Anyway not only was the lesson great but it was so wonderful to be with so many Godly woman. We had a great turnout on a yucky rainy day and it was just so encouraging to see so many woman dedicated to God who didn't let the weather stop them.

Sunday Morning we had a great worship service. I will say that since the miscarriage worship has completely transformed for me. Its amazing that through such adversity I have become so much closer to my God and I truly enjoy worshiping him now. I truly have been leaning on the Everlasting Arm.
Our lesson that morning was such a great message. Brother Claunch talked about how SIN is a choice and all of the horrible things that sin brings with it. And while sin is pleasurable in the here and now, the pleasure does not last. It was a straight forward message that we have all heard before but need to be reminded of often. The devil is working extra hard to tempt those of us who are trying to live right. He already has the world so there really is no need for him there. He wants us.

Anyway, after worship that morning I had a wonderful lunch with my husband at O'Charley's. Then came home and took a wonderful nap. Sunday afternoon naps are the Best!! After services that night I was able to talk to a very sweet lady. We talked about our situations. She is going through a rough time in her life also. It was great to talk to her and I really enjoyed myself and felt alot better after talking with her. Though we are going through completely different situations it really does help to talk to a Godly woman who knows adversity in the here and now with you. We really can strengthen each other. Well I am just rambling now. Just wanted to catch everyone up about my weekend. I do ask that you continue to keep us in your prayers. I take my last pill on Thursday and should start my cycle on Sunday(The same day I am throwing my parents 25th anniversary). Then we should know on Monday or Tuesday if we will be able to begin our follistim shots. Hope everyone is having a blessed Monday!

Words of Comfort

Recently more and more songs out of our church song book have touched my heart more and more. I have sang many of these songs for years but recently they have really taken on great meaning for me. I wanted to share 3 of my new favorites. I get a lump in my throat everytime I sing these.


The first one is

"Each Step I Take"

Each step I take my Savior goes before me,

And with his loving hand he leads the way,

And with each breathe I whisper "I adore thee;"

O what joy to walk with him each day.

At times I feel my faith begin to waiver,

When up ahead I see a chasm wide,

It's then I turn and look up to my Savior,

I am strong when he is by my side.

I trust in God, no matter come what may,

For life eternal is in his hands,

He holds the key that opens up the way,

That will lead me to the promised land

Each step I take

I know that he will guide me

To higher ground

He ever leads me on

Until some day

the last step will be taken

Each step I take just leads me closer home.

The Second one is

"When Morning Comes"

Trials dark on every hand,

and we cannot understand

All the ways that God will lead us

to that blessed Promised Land.

But he'll guide us with his eye

and we'll follow till we die

We will understand it better by and by.

Temptations, hidden snares,

often take us unawares,

And our hearts are made to bleed

for each thoughless word or deed;

And we wonder why the test,

When we try to do our best

But will understand it better by and by.

By and By

When the morning comes,

All the saints of God are gathering home,

And we will tell the story

How we've overcome

We will understand it better by and by.

The last one is my favorite:

"Teach Me, Lord"

Teach me Lord, to wait

right down on my knees,

Till in your own good time

You answer my pleas;

Teach me not to rely

on what others do,

But to wait in prayer

for an answer from you.

Teach me Lord, to wait

while hearts are aflame

Let me humble my pride

and call on your name

Keep my faith renewed

my eyes on thee

Let me be on this earth

What you want me to be

They that wait upon the Lord

shall renew their strength

They shall mount up with wings like eagles

They shall run and not be weary

They shall walk and not faint

Teach me Lord, Teach me Lord

to wait.

Bloodwork Results Update

I went in yesterday morning for some blood work to check and see if I ovulated. This doctor that I go to has always been good about calling you back in the same day. That is until recently. Now I know I technically am not in an injections cycle right not so I don't NEED my results today like other women who are actually in a cycle but if you say you are going to call me today then please call me. Don't make me wait around all day for a call and then not get one. Plus I am waiting on the results so that I can get started on my next cycle. Well they never called me yesterday. So I called first thing this morning and they finally called back. I did not ovulate (which we pretty much knew, this is just a formality) so they called in my medicine to start my cycle. I have to take it for 10 days and then 3-14 days after the last pill I will begin my cycle. Also I got the results from my blood clotting blood work. There were two things that were slightly elevated but he thinks that this is insignificant and not enough to cause a miscarriage so this is good news. I will not need to take aspirin during my next pregnancy. So our prayers have been answered in that aspect. So our next prayer request is that once my cycle starts all the testing on day 2 will be in our favor and we will be able to begin the injections. Thanks for all the prayers thus far and please continue to keep us in your prayers. Emotions are running high these days as we near closer to having hope again. Anxiety, excitement, nervousness, sadness, you name it we feel it.

New Phone!

I have never been one to keep up with the latest trend of Cell phones. I always keep the one I have until it is either broken or almost broken. So everytime I get a new phone it is not long until it is outdated. I figure why spend money on something like that when I have one that works. Yes I get wierd looks when I use it but hey it works. Usually by the time I go in to get a new phone, the one I have isnt even made anymore.
Well I had been complaining to my hubby that I needed a phone. The one that I had had a crack in the screen and was just all around ratty looking. I had bought this one 3 years ago so it was pretty worn out. Well last night my wonderful husband suprised me with a new Razor phone! I am soooo excited! Now I know Razor phones are not that new and they will probably be outdated pretty soon but for me I love it. My husband is such a sweet person always thinking about me and doing stuff for me. I'm so In Love!!!

Here is a pic of the phone!

In love with my Hoover!

I haven't been that Happy with my vacuum for a while. It just wasn't doing the job that I thought it should and the belt kept breaking. So after spending $20 on a new filter and tons of new belts I finally had enough of it. I was using it the other day and the belt broke again and make the whole entire apartment smell absolutely horrible. I went then and there to buy a new vacuum and I am so so pleased. I cannot believe the stuff my old vacuum was leaving behind. I have vacuumed everyday since I bought it because I love using it that much. Wierd I know. :) Oh and you never have to buy a filter, they are all washable and reusable. How great is that? But if you are looking for an affordable vacuum that works you definately need to check this one out. I bought it at Walmart and it was $97 including tax. It is a Hoover Mach 3 Cyclonic Upright Bagless vacuum. Here is a pic.

Also I wanted to post a picture of the wonderful purse my parents brought me back from Gatlinburg. It's similar but better to one that I have been eyeing for quite a while but would not buy for myself because it was too expensive. It is also very very me..:)

Longing for a baby!

I saw this on another blog and it just really put into words alot of what infertility is like. I want to share it with you!

To wake up in the morning, I need an alarm clock because there are no little ones to jump on my bed to wake me up.

I take my time getting ready in the morning, because I don't have anyone to dress but myself.

Instead of changing dirty diapers, I change a puppy pad.

Instead of preparing lunch for school, I pour fresh food and water for my dogs.

I have no clue what it's like to have a dryer full of little clothes that are "so aggravating" to fold.

My picture frames are filled with pictures of my nieces, nephews and friends' children becuase I haven't had an opportunity to capture the beauty in the faces of my own.

When I want to have a quiet moment, all I have to do is turn off the television.

When we go to church, we feel like the "outsiders" because everyone else has something in common.

I can't plan children, only "times" to try for them.

No, I don't know what labor pains feel like.

No, I don't know what it feels like to carry your world in your womb for nine months.

I've never heard "I love you, Mommy!"

I've never been up all night with a screaming baby but would give anything for it.

If you have never experienced the pain of infertility, you can't relate. But you can pray for us. We long to have what you have. Take advantage of every opportunity you have with your children.

For those feeling what I'm feeling, stay strong. Love those who have what you have and pray for them. Try to be happy for them, even when it hurts.

"I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD. " Psalm 27: 13-14

Frustration and snow!

Let me start out by saying that the end of last week was very frustrating to say the least. On Thursday I decided to call my Reproductive Endocrinologist's office to see if my clotting blood work was back yet. It had been one day shy of 3 weeks and that is about how long they said it could take. Well I put a call in that morning. You have to leave a message for the nurse and they will call you back before the end of the day. So I waited. Well one of the nurses called me around noon. She said that the results were not on my chart but she would go check it out and call me back. Well a few hours later another nurse, whom I have never spoken with, calls me and says that they did not have it so they called the lab and the lab had no record of it. She then proceeds to tell me that I will need to go in and have it done again and that if it was not back by the time my next cycle starts that I would have to wait yet another cycle before beginning my injections. This of course did not make me happy at all. I mean it was not my fault they lost the results yet I was gonna have to suffer. So I went in first thing Friday morning, which was also the morning of my grandmother's surgery, to have to blood work again. Of course by now I am on a first name basis with the lab techs so they were like "Mrs. Hatfield why are you having this test all over again? This is very expensive and your insurance is going to reject having it again". I explained to them what had happened and they said " Um, Mrs. Hatfield, the results are right here in our computer, I don't know who your doctor's office spoke with". I was frustrated yet relieved at the same time. She faxed it over while I was there and I left to go to my grandmother's surgery praying that they had not already taken her back. On the way there I put in a call to the RE's office to make sure they recieved the fax and to get the results. (The lab isnt allowed to tell). I left a message and said to call ASAP. Well guess what, I did not get a call until 5:15 p!!!! Then they still had to look for it and once they found it they said the doctor was busy and could not look at them so I would have to call back on Monday for the results. ARGHHH! Oh and they hoped he would look at it before he went home because he would not be in the office on Monday or Tuesday. Yeah I am not a happy camper! So of course that makes me worried now because I feel like if the tests were negative then they could have just told me that without the doc having to look at them. Maybe I am just paranoid. We will see. I have a call put in today and I am sitting here waiting as I type. Hopefully I will get the results today.

On another note it snowed here yesterday and it was so beautiful. I was shocked because the meteorologist's were actually right about snow for once. We got a couple of inches and I was able to take some pictures. I decided that I love snow, when looking from the inside out! Its great to look at, but I hate being out in it. The wind was too cold!! I had to go feed my parents dog during the worst of it (They are in Gatlinburg on their 25th Anniversary Trip) and I thought I had frost bite from being out there for 10min. I know dramatic but Me and cold weather just don't mix unless I am inside under a blanket snuggled up with my husband drinking coffee! Then its wonderful!!! Here are a few pictures that I took.

This is me and Daniel Freezing to death at my parents house feeding their dog!

This is Daniel and Trixie on our Balcony at our Apartment.